Defining Experiences. What You Need to Become Who You Are

The Rainy Hike

Let's go back in time. It's 2013 and I'm hiking through the Philippine rain forest. There are still three hours left until the next village when… it starts raining. And with rain, I mean tropical waterfall. So I put on my 20€ rain jacket from H&M and think that I will survive the rain.

But I don't. Two minutes later, I'm soaked from head to toes, and there is no clothing that can hold it back. I grew up in Germany where rain combined with cold temperatures make you dislike it form the very young age. So I start cursing, hating, swearing against the rain that transforms my beautiful hike into an annoying adventure.

Time passes. But with time, I change as well.

After a while, my frustration transforms into indifference. And then, something strange happens — I start liking the rain. My t-shirt is so wet that I can feel every inch of my skin, can feel my muscles moving. The air is not only humid but completely fresh. My view, although blurred, encounters a panorama I have never encountered before.

And after a good half an hour, sun follows the rain and I feel reborn. In fact, I now miss the rain, this beautiful invention that clarifies the old and gives birth to the new. I feel reborn, and so I went on to finish the most beautiful hike of my life.

Why does this matter?

Very simply — if I hadn't experienced heavy rain, I could have never enjoyed rain in moderation afterwards. Since my rain experience, I love the rain, feeling the water cleaning my skin, flowing over my face, and refreshing the atmosphere around me. Before this experience, the sun was stolen by the clouds. But now, I see rain as this magical force that transforms your surroundings and makes you appreciate the sun even more. It's beautiful. And this beauty could only be realized because my judgment could contrast the old with the new.

The Importance of Experiences

With the premise that we become who we are because of our experiences — which include the people we meet, the knowledge we absorb, and the actions we take — we can generally say that the more experiences you have, the broader your perspective is.

But experiences can have two purpose: to open up your perspective, such as in the case of the rain, or to narrow it down. If you choose the unknown, you'll see the old from a broader perspective and will be able to choose the one perspective you want stick with. If you choose the already known and want to go in depth, it reinforces the perspective you already have chosen.

Extreme rain put my standard rain experience into contrast. Experiencing normal rain now reinforces my new acquired perspective of it.

Choosing the Right Experience

Both type of experiences are necessary, but both come in different times. Unfortunately, many people do not first open themselves up in order to be able to really chose who they want to be. They narrow themselves down, and the few who are seeking new experiences chose to explore the already known and reinforce their own point of view.

It's up to you to decide how broad your perspective should be before you settle down. How many cities you need to visit before you build your life in one. How many people you want to date before you believe this is the one. How many jobs you want to go through before you decide to stay with what you think is best.

The famous T-shape : experiences in different fields vs. experiences in one field.

Of course, nothing is definite. You can experience the unknown, then choose to deepen your perspective in one field, and afterwards start the process again with other fields. What counts is that you feel good about what you do — but you need to listen to yourself and be open to new perspectives to close the gap between the person you wish you were and the person you still are.

Nice concept, but what about a concrete example?

Look. I've been traveling for my last years across several cities, experienced several hobbies, jobs, people, and now realized what I liked. I opened up my perspective to be able to define myself after my own values, and it's now time to narrow down on what I like to become good at. That is why I chose to move to Paris, to explore my passion as growth hacker and take the time to grow with the people I started loving. But I will also continue experiencing the new, which is why I joined my friend Thomas Despin with #52in16 — experiencing one new challenge every week to continue developing your perspective in new ways.

We could sum all of this up in five points:

1. Your personality is based on your perception of the world.
2. Your perception is created by contrasting the different experiences against each other.
3. The more experiences you have in different fields, the more you can choose into which field you want to settle.
4. The more experiences you have in the same field, the more you can define yourself through it.
5. It is up to you to define the balance between enlarging your perspective and reinforcing it.

As said, nothing is definite. Once you get tired of your balance, you will need to move on to broaden up your perspective again and redefine yourself further on. But now it's time to deepen the perspective I have chosen — and I can't wait to start this new chapter.

PS: Thanks for reading my first blogpost — love or hate it, but let me know :)

PPS: this blog is part of my #52in16 challenges — without it, I probably wouldn't have had the new experience to blog at all ;)