The Journey - April 7th, 2023
A newsletter around learnings, experiences, creations and discoveries.
Hi all,
In this week’s Journey, I’m focussing more on the internal journey - our relationship to the world, to emotions, to people and money. It is only by openly talking about how we perceive the world that we can improve our relationship to it.
I’m also opening up coaching slots for next week - learn more about it here 🎯
Enjoy this Journey!
On Connection with Self
Life is all about action:I discovered a text that I wrote back in 2015. At that time, I moved to London, and fell into depression the first weeks straight. Until I realized: when you’re depressed, it’s because you’re too focussed on your own problems. And the only way to get out of your head is action! Read this one-pager if that’s what you need to hear now 💪
Highlight: "It often starts in the head, but has to continue in action. If not, you will be suffocated by the discrepancy between your potential and who you actually are."
On my relationship with emotional states:I recentlytweeted about the “trigger paradox” - about how I get triggered by people who are triggered, which is a vicious loop. I absorb people’s emotional states like if it was mine and take it personally: I get angry at those who remain angry. I complain about those who complain.
But why am I doing this?
There are several layers to that answer: from a childhood perspective, I hated when (someone from my family - won’t say who) acted impulsively and yelled at others. From a personal perspective of today, I want to feel at peace and do not find much value in being in angry or complaining states.
But there is something deeper: actually, what I truly want, is help people out of their suffering. I suffer seing other people suffering. And I get triggered when I can’t figure out how to get them out their triggered state.
Talking to my man Frederic (he’s being quoted quite a bit recently), we figured that there are three ways to help people out of their triggered states.
Help them put their focus somewhere else:if someone is angry angainst their boss and keeps ranting about it, start talking about a different subject and make them engage with that new topic.
1.
Remain calm:this can have a mirror effect whereby the other person will join your calm state eventually. But if that doesn’t work, there is a third option.
2.
Label their state: saying something such as “you seem to be very angry at your boss and have a hard time with it” will put the focus on their own emotional state, without changing the topic. This can calm someone down and make them realize their own state instantly.
3.
Now I know: I am not the hero that has the duty to change people’s states. But with these techniques, I can always try my best - and bring value to their lives this way.
Perspectives on Life: check out the summary of the book "Reality Transurfing" - great perspectives on our relationship to the world!
On my relationship with money:I’ve never been driven by money. For me, money is just the result of creating value. Instead of asking myself: “How can I create money?” I’d rather ask myself: “How can I add value?”
Yet, I’ve been frustrated about my financial situation because it’s still not stable. My personal account goes up and down - and while I don’t have the fear of being broke (I’ve been there and know I can create value quickly), I want more financial stability in my life. And here was yesterday’s realization:
I realized that I currently give as much value as I take value from the world. And deep down, I want to create more value than I take.
Hence, I am ready to make money and to set financial goals. Not because I want to spend it - but because I want to use money as a proxy to how much value I’m creating to the world. Let’s create value, ladies and gents!
On Coliving
What are the needs of communities? I loved the newest post on Supernuclear on pyramids of needs in coliving. Just check it out!
On my own coliving perspectives: I posted a lot on Instagram about my own coliving journey - how I was able to meet tons of people, my philosophy behind coliving, what makes out true coliving space interior design, and how to develop interior spaces for 200-unit buildings. Check it out!
New coliving book ist out: check out the newest book on coliving (in French) by Lucie Moreau, cofounder of My Name Is Bernard coliving! Includes templates, best practices, and much more.
Personal Updates
Celebrating my birthday like it’s a festival: I’m about to turn 30 years old! In the last years, I celebrated my birthday with myself only - usually doing me-days, in which I had no commitments and would just follow my intuition. This year, I decided to host a celebration of love: I booked a big villa, invited my best friends to come over, and organizing several events in Lisbon - among others a beautiful connection circle on one of Lisbon’s most beautiful locations, followed by live sets by myself and my friends. Check out my Notion doc for inspiration!
Remember: life is short, and for me, quality time with people you love is what makes life worth it 🔥
Organizing a day and night party with the Portuguese Burning Man crew:I joined the team at Flamingalo, the burning-man inspired event in Portugal - and promoting a whole-day event filled with art and music, called the Flamingalo FUNraiser! If you’re in Lisbon, you have to come on April 22nd for the best day of your life!
I finally found an apartment in Lisbon: it’s official - after six years of being nomadic, I finally become sedentary! Although, you know, I’ll still be traveling around ;)
Side-hustle-tip: I even created a website and even wrote a poem to the landlord😆It was this additional effort that made it work!
Quote of the Week
“When you get in your head, you're dead”- Tony Robbins
Wishing you a great Easter Weekend,
Gui
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PS2: Please tell me if you found this Journey insightful and what would liked (or didn’t like) about it. It would help me a lot to hear from you!